I slacked again....

I know I know, I slacked off again on updating my blog… I’m sorry! :(

I have been thinking about this blog and what I want to do with it…I tend to put too much self pressure to write something grand …so I end up putting it off… instead I’m going to make a commitment to blog regularly and to keep it simple. I’m aiming for 3 times a week. I think I can handle that. I have a list of quick blogs I could do when I’m stuck…like a dear cancer letter, ode cancer survey, or maybe share some more of my crazy chemo induced dreams ….so stay tuned…

Medically I have been doing very well. I am on Chemo treatment number 3 week B… got that? Sometimes it’s hard to keep up, and they give me a calendar! I’m looking forward to a PET scan in about 3 weeks to check on progress. I’m excited for the results I know they are going illuminate good news! What I’m not excited about is the appointment; waiting, getting pricked, having blood drawn, injecting radio active dye, more waiting, and then lying in the machine still as the cancer cells say “Cheese” ……Nope, not looking forward to the appointment at all.

I have had a really gunk like, nasty, heavy feeling sitting in my throat and tummy. Eth! Disgusting, I could easily toss my cookies, but I don’t go there. The last thing I want to do is hug the Porcelain Queen. I’m starting to notice patterns in my therapy too.

Day 3 and 4 of a treatment I’m really tired and wiped out. Days 1-3 am hooked on chemo for about 2 hours, and I have done a good job of sleeping through it. Day 4 I’m exhausted and in bed most of the day. The chemo drug I get on day 8 does a number on my mouth. It hasn’t been too bad, but I’ve come to expect it. By day 12-13 my bones hurt, but I have been able to keep the pain bearable. It’s hasn’t all be a cake walk, but who wants icing on one’s toes anyways? .........Wait maybe I don’t want to know the answer!

We have all heard really dumb blonde jokes. Well I have been experiencing “Chemo Brain” a type of dumbness, which makes blonde jokes weak in comparison. Some days I’m just in a complete fog. Lionel makes little jokes gets no reaction from me, he tries to explain something to me and I say BoldBabe, I’m not gonna get it right now, so you can stop.” I have left my car keys at cash registers, left the house with two different shoes on (twice!), strange items have ended up in the fridge, mailed a letter without an address, I have just lost my mind in general.

The other day I was working on a painting project. I was looking all around for my paint brush. I couldn’t find that darn thing anywhere and boy was I getting heated. I got up from where I was sitting, threw out a few curse words, ect…finally Lionel said “The one in your hand?” Can you believe the paint brush was in my hand the WHOLE time I was looking for it? Geesh!

Lionel and I have been saying that as the hair get's shorter and shorter more air gets into my brain which is another cause of the Chemo Brain. hahah!

As bald as think it's going to get.
I haven't minded losing my hair.
I've always told Lionel I wanted to shave it off.
Be careful what you wish for. Haha!!!
I have cried only twice so far over
the lack of hair, both times in the shower
"ohhh why was i washing so much
money(shampoo) down the drain before?
Bald is the only way to be"
In actuality, it was a little sad to go blad.
But I got over it, just like I will cancer!

This is my "Mad Mug" aginst the sun.
You can't tell but my head is slathered up with sunscreen
I enjoy eye make up!
I'm gald to still have my eyebrows and lashes!

Ready to go!

At the Zoo on Mother's Day!!
note: I weighed in at 115lbs today :) I'm so happy
to have put on some weight..10 pounds in total!!
A big hug and thanks to the WB Mom's club for
the great meals! You guys are all stars!
God Bless and KNG FUCANCER!


Roz | May 12, 2009 at 5:36 AM

kung fucancer indeed!!!!!!!!!!! so lovely to read your blog and see how positive you're staying :D and i'm glad you'll be posting more often; we can compare chemoschmemo side effects! xxx