“HOLY SHIT!!!!”

“HOLY SHIT!!!!”
That’s what I yelled out at my bone marrow biopsy today.

I went into the hospital today just happy go lucky and talkative as could be. I’m pretty sure I was loud too. The outpatient surgery waiting room had two seating areas. There are were the good chairs- sofas and arm chairs that are hospital comfortable. These are for the families who get here early, before 7 am. Lionel and I sat in a row of chairs, the ones that are not comfortable no matter how you contort your body to sit in them. There was a short haired older lady sitting in row of chairs perpendicular to Lionel and I. I don’t know if she heard us talking, but shortly after we sat down she came and sat right behind us. Is she hoping to catch a good story? This makes me laugh inside.

My talkativeness (is that a word?) did not end there. As I bounced into my pre-surgery cubical I joke with the tech. “Y’all are all vampires around here, all y’all want is my blood. Why do you have to take so many vials, man?” I here him to chuckle, and hope I brightened his day.

I then meet my Nurse Lisa. Best described as motherly; she is sweet and sincere. Everything with Nurse Lisa is "yes ma’am. No ma’am, please and thank you." I like her. And yep you guessed it; I talked her ear off too.

Soon Dr. A (my oncologist) comes in. He picks up the book I’m reading Cancer on a $5 day by Robert Schimmel. “What kind of economy is that in?” Dr. A says. Was that funny? Was it supposed to be a joke? I dunno but I’m dying of laughter inside.

“Dr. A, is being boney gonna be in my favor today?” I ask. He assures me being boney is to my advantage. I’m content with this. Yes, being boney was some how going to make this all better.

In the procedure room I chatter the whole time, I can’t shut up. I have a motor mouth as powerful as a Hemi. Watch out I might just say anything, and I did, everything from taxes to teaching Pilates with jokes thrown in. Dr. A hasn’t really laughed at my jokes. By the end of this journey I will have that big burly bald man rolling on the floor laughing out loud complete with tears! I think all of the chatter was really my own distraction.

The pain of the procedure was like none other. It radiated through my bones and wowwee it hurt. My mother-in-law told Lionel the other day that if I could go through child birth without any pain meds, then I could go through any kind of pain. Hey! She was right. I survived. It hurt, but I’m okay!

The procedure was a lot like giving birth to my son. When Dr. A was numbing me, the pain was bearable. I was able to breathe through it like I did with the hard core contractions during labor. Then All of a sudden (Dr. A did warn me and apologize) there was this unbelievable deep down piercing sharp pain. “HOLY SHIT!!!!!” I yelled out. With my final push during the delivery of Garrett I yelled out in pain too. Then Dr. A repeated the torture on the right side of my hips. I didn’t know I was having twins!

“Can I see the samples?” Of course I had to ask. First they showed me a piece of my bone, that was about 1/4 an inch long and reddish orange. Then I saw the bone marrow which looked like blood, the lab tech said it was thicker than blood and gritty. Eh pretty cool, but not cool enough to justify the pain.

The whole procedure felt like it took 20 minutes, I bet it didn’t take much longer. It felt like I laid in the recovery cubical way longer than 20 minutes. The after pain was like I could still feel it in my bones just more dull, annoying pain and soreness. Nurse Lisa gave me Tylenol. Yep nothing stronger, can you blieve it! Before she gave me to dose I had to pass a quiz
“What are you allergic to?” Nurse Lisa Ask
“Codine”
“What’s Your Name?”
“Diana Brown”
“When’s your birthday?”
“January 30th”
“What did you have done?”
“Bone marrow biopsy”
Then she silently gave me the pills…but I kept on going with the quiz
“Username? Password? Blood type? First born? Anything else?”
I’m pretty sure I got her to snicker.
Soon after that they release me to my husband.

I bounced out of the hospital all happy go lucky just like I bounced in.

7 comments:

Cristina's Bitch Spot | March 24, 2009 at 11:50 PM

You are one hell of a brave soul!! Man, I could not imagine in a million years but you did good at getting to me on how you felt.

Glad you are doing good.

Love ya much chica!

C

Rose F | March 25, 2009 at 5:14 AM

You made it through! You have a great spirit and that will get you through the tough times. Even though we are miles away, I will be along side you through this journey of life.
Stay Strong!
Love Your Friend,
Rose (NY)

Liz Wolford | March 25, 2009 at 10:43 AM

Wow! You're my hero!! And on top of that no pain meds during child birth?!?!?! You're one crazy lady!!! I'm glad you're my friend and not my enemy! LOL

Me | March 25, 2009 at 1:25 PM

You are such an amazing woman! I am so proud to call you my friend

Love you!
Nikki

Donna Evans | March 25, 2009 at 1:53 PM

It's great that you kept your good spirits through all that. I could so imagine you just chatting away! you hold on that spirit and it will help you get through everything! I love ya much - wish I was there.

connie | March 29, 2009 at 1:18 PM

I Said a Prayer for you today and know GOD must have heard. I felt the answer in my heart, although HE spoke not a word. I prayed that He'd be near you at the start of each new day, to grant you health, blessings and friends to share your way. I asked for happiness for you in all things great and small, but it was for His loving care I prayed the most of all.

Love you
Tia Connie

The Ellestads | April 2, 2009 at 4:38 PM

My cousin Maddie would call the bone marrow people the 'muffin ladies' because of their hair nets:)

Hang in there sister!
Jennifer